All we need is love, love

Hurt

2012-02-19T14:20:00.003-08:00

So I was listening to one of Johnny Cash's last songs this week. I have a great amount of respect for Cash though I'm not necessarily a country music connoisseur. The song is entitled "Hurt" and here are the lyrics to the chorus.

"What have I become,
My sweetest friend,
Everyone I know,
Goes away in the end,

And you could have it all,
My empire of dirt,
I will let you down,
I will make you hurt."

I have never listened to the song before (if you haven't I'd recommend it with all due haste...listen to it while you are reading this) and naturally, I loved it. It seemed so heartfelt and raw. Raw was something I had been feeling... in the advent of my maternal grandfather's sudden brain aneurysm and death in January. He was an influential man in the world of Christian missions and humanitarian aid... put simply, he loved people and showed me how to do so. After the funeral, I had to immediately jump back into the whirlwind of all things graduate school and really didn't have much time to process the "hurt" I felt... so upon hearing Cash's song, it sank in. At the same time, I had learned of a friend who was going through a very difficult time and was bearing consequences that were not of her doing. I hurt for her... I hurt for me.

I began reflecting on relationships... people that I know now... that I have known... that I will know. It's powerful stuff. The fact of the matter is that we will lose each other eventually. Think about people you've known and loved... people who are no longer a part of your life for one reason or another. That hurts. Even aches. To have loved and lost that which you loved. For me, it drives home the fact that life comes in seasons... people come into our lives for a season to teach us, to love us, to walk beside us, to change us... but part of living is that we eventually have to give them up... they "go away in the end"... eventually...they'll make us hurt, like Johnny so eloquently conveys. And then what do you do?

You keep going. You keep loving. You let yourself be changed. They knew you, they loved you, they are in your memory, they are in your soul. But you are in a new season now... you can't become immobilized because of the pain of the past. You can't shut down. You keep going, keeping your heart open to meet and love new people. This is the blessing of life... a gift of God. So as hard as it can be, you have to be grateful to have known that person and grateful for the memory that you carry. Then, with all grace and strength, you rise.

Thoughts on Briley Parkway...

2011-12-27T11:21:00.000-08:00

As I was driving down the dark Briley Parkway this weekend, I was pondering life. I thought about all the people who have given of themselves to shape me into the woman I am at present. When I started thinking of all the names through the years, I couldn't help but correlate those names with how blessed I am. How blessed I am to have been poured into so selflessly. When someone gives you a part of himself/herself to help you learn, grow, progress, love... it's a beautiful occurrence... a piece of humanity that shouldn't be neglected. I have so many of those "someones" who have shown me the way, who guided me on my journey, who patiently taught me, who protected me, who said "I love you, Kate(lin) and I believe in you." I reflect on who I am today and I am so grateful, so thankful to those beautiful people. How can I say thank you? I can't necessarily... but perhaps, emulation is the best form of gratitude... thanking those beautiful people by continuing to invest in others... others who may not realize it today, but will hopefully one day say, "I remember when he/she invested in me, and it made all the difference in my life."

Forgiveness

2011-11-21T15:33:00.000-08:00

I fear that sometimes I am a slow learner or perhaps a learner that requires the learning of lesson more than once. A redundancy. Unfortunate, and yet, something that is all too familiar to me.

I have often heard, and even previously learned that when you don't forgive someone, you really do it to the detriment of yourself. They hurt you... maybe physically, maybe emotionally, maybe spiritually, maybe all three, but nevertheless, they leave a mark you wish wasn't there. You are angry, hurt, and resentful. And these emotions become welcome friends to your heart. They are the outlet that you find solace in... but they start wreaking havoc. Before long, they creep deep enough and take hold of the hope, joy, and peace that were in your heart. These were delicate. They were delicate. And you didn't protect them. You chose not to forgive.

The point is... that not forgiving means that you have given the perpetrators of your hurt more power over you than you could ever realize. You give them the power to control your joy, your peace, your hope. Your hope. They control your hope. That's a lot of power to give away.

Forgiving them... it seems counter-intuitive. It seems like you are relinquishing your power, your stand, your pride and are becoming weak. But may I assert that perhaps the act of forgiveness is one of the most courageous, strength-requiring acts that a human can endeavor to achieve. It hurts to have been wronged and not be able to be recompensed or have been able to right the injustice that occurred. But as unlikely as it may sound, forgiveness is the route to healing of the hurt. Forgiving is taking that power that they once had over you and stripping it from them. It's allowing a new day, to be just that. A day that is yours again. A day that you find your hope, joy, and peace. A day that you have courage again. Courage to forgive and to become a better person for having forgiven. A day that you are a forgiver.

This is the lesson that I have been reminded of today. So for all the hurt that you have experienced or will experience: 1) Christ have mercy on us for the evil around this place and 2)Be courageous. Forgive. Choose the road less traveled and it will make all the difference.

Te amo.

2011-11-20T14:58:00.000-08:00

"I'll be your dream
I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy
I'll be your hope, I'll be your love
Be everything that you need,
I'll love you more with every breath,
Truly, madly, deeply do"

A thought.

2011-11-14T10:55:00.000-08:00

"When I dare to be powerful -- to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid." -Audre Lorde

2011-10-31T17:36:00.000-07:00

"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction." -E. F. Schumacher

Hallelujah!!!!

2011-10-15T06:32:00.000-07:00

A HUGE advancement has been made in ending the reign of terror Joseph Kony's LRA has inflicted upon northern Uganda. Having experienced the conflict, hell, and yet still beautiful refugees of Uganda, I am moved that my country is now helping end it. Thank you, President Obama, for making these invisible children, no longer invisible. Because the US is sending troops, we recognize that acts against humanity have taken place and that we, as HUMANS, not Americans, must fight for our African brothers & sisters.

Here's the video link ...it's well worth 4 minutes. http://vimeo.com/30575828

La gracia como la lluvia ...

2011-09-14T18:30:00.000-07:00

Today...I am spent. Though I don't necessarily have a dissertation to pen, I do have many thoughts on my heart. So I'll share the big one... I've been learning more about God's grace lately than I've ever learned before. I'm learning about grace right now because I'm needing so much of it. Isn't that when we learn the most? I guess... unfortunately or fortunately. I have had many large changes and have started a completely different chapter of my life, of which I'm thankful, but frankly, I'm muddling through trying to find the way. Each day I'm being forced to grow...and though it's sometimes painful and always stressful, deep down, I have to admit that some gratefulness exists in my heart. How else would I learn about grace? If I was good at this new chapter already, why would I need anything from anybody? Why would I need grace to make it? I wouldn't. And I never want to be in a spot where I don't need grace. I've been in that spot before... it harbors pride and destruction. So tomorrow... may grace & peace reign.

Bono

2011-09-14T13:43:00.000-07:00

"You can't fix every problem, but what you can fix, you must." --- Bono

a moment.

2011-09-13T07:37:00.000-07:00

"I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you."

Lifehouse

Grace...... eventually...

2011-09-02T12:12:00.000-07:00

"When Jesus was asked about beauty, he pointed to nature, to the lilies of the field. Behold them, he said, and behold is a special word: it means to look upon something amazing or unexpected. Behold! It is an exhortation, not a whiny demand, like when you're talking to your child--- "Behold me when I'm talking to you, sinner!" Jesus is saying that every moment you are freely given the opportunity to see through a different pair of glasses. "Behold the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil or spin, and yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these." But that's only the minor chord. The major one follows, in his anti-anxiety discourse--- which is the soul of this passage--- that all striving after greater beauty and importance, and greater greatness, is foolishness. It is ultimately like trying to catch the wind. Lilies do not need to do anything to make themselves more glorious or cherished. Jesus is saying that we have much to learn from them about giving up striving. He's not saying that in a "Get over it" way, as your mother or your last horrible husband did. Instead he's heartbroken, as when you know an anorexic girl who's starving to death, as if in some kind of demonic possession. He's saying that we could be aware of, filled with, and saved by the presence of holy beauty, rather than worship golden calves."

Anne Lamott in Grace (Eventually): Thoughts on Faith

The best thing...

2011-08-18T14:19:00.000-07:00

...Thank God I found the good in goodbye

I used to want you so bad
I'm so through with that
Cause honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had
You turned out to be the best thing I never had
And I will always be the, best thing you never had.

Hate.

2011-08-16T06:45:00.000-07:00

If you know me in the least, you know not to use the phrase: "love the sinner, hate the sin" around me. And you know that if you do use this special phrase in conversation, I will then muster of all the love that I can produce at that moment, and hopefully, lovingly express my strong aversion and repugnance for this phrase that has lingered in many pulpits over the years. I am of the opinion that there should be no hate involved anywhere in this process. Hate shouldn't exist; it shouldn't even be translatable in the English language. It should be taboo to hate anyone or anything. Take a second to think where hate has gotten us in history. Let's not forget the most infamous: Adolf Hitler tops it off with his hatred and subsequent attempt to eradicate an entire gene pool, Maximilien Robespierre who brought about the "Reign of Terror" in France post Revolution, Idi Amin Dada: the evil Ugandan president, Pol Pot: the Cambodian leader of the Khmer Rouge, a group that successfully murdered 2 million Cambodians... one of the largest genocides in the world, let's not forget Joseph Stalin of Russia who is now thought to have taken more lives than Hitler during his reign. Some of these men hated based on skin color/ ethnicity, some hated based on religion, some hated based on another man's ideals, and some were simply evil, ruthless killers who enjoyed playing god... taking life at will.
What about Westboro Baptist church, the infamous church that protests homosexuality at military funerals while families are trying to bury their dead in peace? This is modern day hatred. Though I listed no American on the list above, America has its fair share of hate through the years. Hate of the native peoples here... look at Andrew Jackson's forcing of the Cherokee and other tribes on what became known as the Trail of Tears. He hated Native Americans and he didn't mind sending them on a cruel, west-ward trek during the dead of winter. What about our treatment of African Americans for years... for being the land of the free, America doesn't have a great track record of not hating a race of people because of their skin. What about women? Women didn't gain the right to vote until 1919... that was the same century that most of us reading this were born in. Women weren't viewed as intelligent enough to be able to discern political beliefs and vote accordingly. How sad. (I still see women treated this way in the church, by the way). Anyway, I will digress from all the examples; I think it's suffice to say that hatred has left wounds and scars on history that will never be able to be removed or forgotten. Black marks... blemishes... indicators of evil in the human race.

So don't tell me to love the sinner, hate the sin. There should be no hate involved or we will be another generation that made the mistake of hating based on our categorization of someone. (Let me insert a comment here to also say not to misunderstand me: I believe in having one's beliefs and morals; I am not encouraging a lack of any boundaries, I'm just asserting that some have gone too far with theirs). How many people hate another person and they've never even met that person? ...never spoken to that person face to face.
But if you must have an intense dislike in your heart, then hate hunger, hate injustice, hate the selling of little girls into forced prostitution, hate unclean water, hate preventable diseases, hate rape, hate molestation, hate genocide, hate conflict diamonds. I'll end with this quote by Anne Lamott: "And I realized once again that we're not punished for our hatred... but by it."

Traveling mercies, my friend.

2011-08-13T07:40:00.000-07:00

I went backwoods camping recently with my three life-long friends, known affectionately as the Who-ha's... a knockoff name derived from The Divine Secrets of the Yaya Sisterhood. Armed with the strength of a sisterly bond, the fierceness and determination of the female species, and the love of Yahweh, we trekked on to our next great adventure. We tend to welcome the outdoor adventures that require a certain sense of survival sweetly mixed with the desire to sleep among the stars, sunsets, and sunrises. Our first major endeavor some years ago was a 3 week road trip across the greater United States that took us nearly into Canada... we camped, we feasted over the campfire, we visited old friends, we took pictures, we sang hymns, we laughed, we drove, we quoted Thoreau, we prayed, we conversed, we star-gazed, we hiked, we met new friends, we sweated, we danced. This past weekend lacked nothing as we reunited to repeat these things once more... picking up where we had last left off. What a rich life. Our time together got me thinking...

I've been savoring my reading of Anne Lamott as of late. The San Francisco Chronicle writes: "Anne Lamott is walking proof that a person can be both reverent and irreverent in the same lifetime. Sometimes even in the same breath." Lamott is irreverent, but she writes about grace as if it is desperately needed, as if it is her salvation. She can write like this because she has a codependency on Christ that leaves you realizing that Christ is literally her Savior through such personal grace that only she can know. She's been through it all and back. She is endearing with her funny stories, crude language at times, fervid political beliefs, and her dreadlocks (which are one of her greatest attributes, in my opinion). She is ruthlessly honest in her pursuit of both life and grace. I love her writing; I see more grace in it than in many religious writings, excluding the Holy Bible, of course. In her book, Traveling Mercies, Lamott explains that she derived the title from her pastor, the Reverend Ms. Veronica Goines and her congregation who wish other members traveling mercies when the are about to depart on a journey away from the congregation. "Traveling mercies: love the journey, God is with you, come home safe and sound." These are the sentiments that they wish each other; this reminds me a lot of the Who-ha's, our individual and collective journeys, and the traveling mercies that have followed us through the years.

Later, Lamott writes about Bee, an old friend who had weathered the years and was close to her last breath. Anne sat with her during this sacred time, held her hand, and whispered something so profound as her old friend was slipping away to Glory: traveling mercies. So that's what I wish to say to you today: Love your journey, know God is with you, come home safe and sound. Traveling mercies to you, my friend.

Late night post...

2011-07-24T20:43:00.000-07:00

I don't have much to say tonight... primarily because I don't functional well in the later night hours; however, I felt like I should update the blog. I've enjoyed the past few days very much... the small things of life can be the most comforting and memorable. Summertime vegetables grown, cooked, and shared with friends. Friendly smiles. Watching an old beloved TV show with other appreciaters (yes, I made up a word). Airports and airplanes. Ladies in the boot camp gym class. Same-page conversations. Apples to Apples. Laughing with people you love. Teaching awesome girls. Catching up with friends over Sweet Cece's. Good hugs. Running. Sleep. Quality time. Thinking about the future. Hope. Love.

For what it's worth....

2011-07-04T08:14:00.000-07:00

I just finished a great book called: The Next Christians... I would highly recommend it if you have some spare time (believe me, I know how hard "spare time" is to come by these days)... nevertheless, I think the book is a time worthy endeavor.

Gabe Lyons, the author, describes the next generations of Christians.... who are restorative rather than destructive, creators instead of critics, called instead of employed, and grounded not distracted. "These next Christians are offering a new way forward--a way to act, live, and bring others along with them into a new reality of how things ought to be."

He explores the social realm of Christianity and many sects that it encompasses. Some Christians choose to be separatists... completely separating themselves from the social norms of society... some choose to completely immerse themselves in culture, blending in with no contrast. Some choose to be quite outspoken about their beliefs and defend them vehemently; some force their beliefs on others. And what's more... there is a church for each of these kinds of Christians... in fact, there are many churches that support these views and lend haven to these beliefs. Lyons asserts though that the new generation will not endure these types of religious practices and beliefs. The new generation of twenty somethings is looking for a deeper, more relevant, more intimate, more sacrificial faith. Something that requires a passion.... a deep belief system that inspires people to live differently... to live the teachings of Christ.

Let me quote Lyons because I can say it no better than he:
"A GOD-centered life is a counter-intuitive existence that flips the values of the world upside down. It's an inverted way of living that reverses the importance of what the world tells us to value most. The Western inclination is to chase after wealth, comfort, power, happiness, success, and the ever-sought-after American dream. But Jesus is describing an alternative way of living and engaging that files in the face of these values." ----------How do we know that? Well... check out this verse: "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt." (Luke 6)

Does that make any sense.... pray for your enemies? What? No... of course we shouldn't pray for those who mistreat us! Of course we shouldn't look out for anyone but ourselves and those closest to us! Do you see how radical this verse is? Can you pray for Muslims? Can you see that they are a part of humanity too? Can you give them your coat? Christ is counter-cultural; his teachings are inverted. And counter-intuitive. Yes. But life-changing. Life-giving.

Lyons writes: "If this Gospel--the Gospel of Jesus Christ-- is going to engage Western culture in a new way; it starts with us... when Christians put their priority on the first thing, the second things begin to take care of themselves. Jesus himself couldn't have been any clearer: 'But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness' "

How does one do this? By engaging your culture and community... via serving and loving. "Possibly for you, it's putting a dent in the never-ending cycle of poverty that destroys so many lives, neighborhoods, and nations. Or creatively addressing the malnutrition, poor health, and disease that's wrecking so many families. Or tutoring, mentoring, and fostering fatherless children.... God's intention and method of restoration is to use you to bring his redeeming love to the world."

Find what you love doing... and do it with love... restore what's broken wherever you are. This doesn't require a call to formal ministry. I know people who are doing this...and it's beautiful. They are the next Christians... ones who come alongside of friends who need help and help them without judgment. Ones who don't mind getting their hands dirty. Ones who realize the need to take care of our earth. Ones that hurt for those suffering injustices here and abroad. Ones who fix dinner for those who can't. Ones who teach English to those struggling to learn. Ones who are open minded and welcome others opinions with grace. Ones who lend a kind word or an hour of their time. Ones who are getting involved in leadership wherever they are so that they can promote a positive change. Ones who don't hate because of religion, sexual orientation, or skin color. Ones who breathe life into others.

I haven't quite figured it out yet, but I am trying. At any rate, thanks for reading thus far. Much love to you this independence day.

Eleanor Roosevelt

2011-07-01T09:48:00.000-07:00

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience by which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.”

“The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experiences.”

“It is better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness.”

In addition to her responsibilities as first lady, Mrs. Roosevelt was a humanitarian at heart and in practice. She was an American diplomat serving in the United Nations. I am thankful for her heart for humanity and fearlessness to fight for her beliefs.

Sunsets

2011-06-19T18:23:00.001-07:00

Don't you love summertime sunsets that last well into the late evening? For me, sunsets are a time to stop... to reflect upon the day I just lived. Did I live it well? Did I love well? Did I live with passion and without apathy? Did I grow? Am I fulfilling my purpose? Did I smile enough, hug enough, cry enough, dance enough, laugh enough, hope enough, pray enough? Sunsets are unique because they only last for so long...then they are gone... kind of like our days. They only last so long..and then they are gone. Are you making your mark on the world? "If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late.... "

Redemption.

2010-12-13T19:49:00.001-08:00

So... I am grateful for the last few days, which have provided much time for rest and reflection. Reflection...something I often lack the time or strength to apply to my life, yet is so often, the way to wisdom.

Today, I am reflecting on Jesus. I am reflecting on His life and His words. His redemption. I have been given grace undeserved. I have been taken from Hell and given Heaven. I am redeemed. Why don't I think about this every day? Why don't I cry in happiness every day for this? I think it is because I don't let myself feel enough...or maybe, perhaps, I don't yet understand the depth of this redemption.

Jesus. Followers of Jesus follow the teachings of Jesus. His teachings are completely contrary to the world's traditions. Backwards....

-For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. –Jesus, Matthew 5:20

-Let anyone among you who is without sin, be the first to throw a stone at her. Jesus, John 8:7

-Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest. Jesus, Matthew 11:29

-Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. –Jesus, Matthew 7:1

-Then Peter came and said to him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” Matthew 18:21-22

-So whatever you wish that men would do to you, do so to them. –Jesus, Matthew 7:12

-You shall love your neighbor as yourself. –Jesus, Matthew 19:19

This is who I am reflecting on today. Christ. The giver of life, the giver of redemption. The God that is my hope, my passion, my purpose, my life. His teachings are powerful, they are weighty and require a devotion that comes only from a heart that has been broken and redeemed by an undeserved grace. He teaches us about forgiveness when it's undeserved, he teaches us about grace when it shouldn't be extended, he teaches us about worship when it's unpopular, he teaches us about the hardest part of love....sacrifice.

I don't want to live any other life than one that is His. How do I do that? Lord, show me.

2010-12-07T08:56:00.001-08:00

Won't you look down upon me, Jesus,
You've got to help me make a stand,
You've just got to see me through another day,
My body's aching and my time is at hand,
And I won't make it any other way

Give us clean hands.

2010-11-18T17:11:00.000-08:00

Give us clean hands,
Give us pure hearts,
Let us not lift our souls to another,

O God let us be, a generation that seeks,
That seeks your face, O God of Jacob.

Strattons: An Ashland City Icon

2010-08-28T19:04:00.000-07:00

Tonight, the family piled into the car and made our way to a place that has a very special place in our hearts...Ashland City, TN. Dad grew up there and I spent a great deal of my childhood happy moments there.

Strattons, a blast-from-the-past 50's diner, is an icon of the small town of Ashland City. It sits on Main Street, welcoming any and all visitors to the little city of Ash trees. It has been around for years as the place to go when visiting Ashland City. It has served many teenagers as the hangout after a Friday night football win at Cheatham County High. It has served many chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla milkshakes through the years... whatever a heart desired. On a more personal note, it was the place that Gran and I often frequented. It was a treat to come to Ashland City because I got to hang out with Gran and Aunt Beth (whom I affectionately call, Peptobismol--PB for short) and undoubtedly, we'd swing by Strattons for a couple of small hamburgers and a shake.

A couple weeks ago, I received word that Strattons was closing, the owner selling, and a Walgreens was set up to be built. A part of my heart broke just a little bit... maybe its because I still associate that restaurant with my Gran. And all I can do these days is associate memories and places with her because she's gone to the other side of glory.

So the family piled up today to visit Strattons for the last time, as it is set to close its doors a week from today. Along with my grandpa, we arrived at Strattons and waited quite some time for a table; it seemed that everyone else had the same idea. It is quite a small establishment, but very cozy. The walls are lined with old Coca-cola and Orange Crush plaques, pictures of yester-year America.

Once we got settled into a booth, we ordered our favorites for the last time. A strawberry milkshake and a BLT for me please! As we sat and talked, I began looking around. I saw family after family sitting, laughing, recalling memories from this beloved restaurant. I began to realize that this building wasn't just a building, but it was an idea as well. It represented the seasons and years that had passed with it welcoming those into Ashland City. It had seen both the joyous and lowly moments of Ashland City residents. The feast and the famine. I had eaten and celebrated there on many occasions with my beloved Gran... but also cried there after her funeral. It had seen many people through the seasons of life... something that a Walgreens could never accomplish. Through thick and thin, Strattons was there in Ashland City.

As our food came, a customer walked up to the old-time Jukebox and put his money in to play a song. I wondered what his selection would be. Would it be a feel- good footloose song? Would we all get up and dance? No...it turned out to be something even more appropriate. "Hey Jude" ....Paul McCartney...the Beatles...a relic of a generation that is now fading. Just as Strattons will soon fade. It will only exist in the memories of those who loved it through the years. We are in a new decade, a new season of life, and though that brings a twinge of pain, it's a good thing. We must grow and change...and love... we must love today...in this moment...in this season, because things and people change. Its inevitable. So love while you get the chance. And make memories of a lifetime. Thanks Strattons for the memories; thanks for making me smile.

Treading....

2010-08-20T18:09:00.000-07:00

So... I was grateful today for such a beautiful day. I love the heat...and all that encompasses the season that we call summer...the lightening bugs, the lengthy days, the sunsets, the stars, and, of course, the watermelon. Today I was given a rare day of rest... and I was able to take some time to evaluate things in my life.

I am often controlled by fear... fear that I create within my own heart...fear that I cling to and let make decisions for me. The fear is most often, irrational, and even if it wasn't, I should not let it be my guide. Is this familiar territory to anyone else but me?

So I am writing...because it helps me to claim that fear won't overtake me. I am going to live passionately, with purpose...I am going to live radically and follow the teachings of Jesus. How often do we fear things because they are hard...because those things require treading the "road less traveled." And yet, time and time again, we see change happens through people who have taken that courageous road.

So this semester...fear won't be my guide in my classes, nor in my relationships... nor in my prayers for the future. I am praying for big things to happen and that Christ would get all the glory.

Pocket full of words....

2010-08-16T20:29:00.000-07:00

Here's a quote...I read it...and fell in love. Its now hanging in my bedroom. Let me know what you think...let me know what this inspires you to do. The world needs more inspired people.

"Have the guts to rewrite the rules, color outside society's perfect lines, rebel against what's comfortable, love in spite of heart break, dream outside of
sleeping, have faith in humanity even when it gives you reason to not,
fight against injustice, create instead of consume, be brave, be kind,
...maintain unwavering humility and dance until your dripping with sweat
from the beat of your own passion."

Let us all die sweaty. ......
as always...much, much love...
katelin

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years

2010-05-12T18:51:00.001-07:00

This week has been one that I have long since been looking forward too… its been a reprieve from busyness, a chance to breathe. This year has been SO amazing so far… but also one that has demanded the most of all of its moments. I stay busy, I use busyness as an excuse to not feel sometimes; I think this is something that we all do at times, and come to face reality once we slow down.

I’ve enjoyed this break because it has helped me to gather my thoughts and regain my priorities, a chance to fellowship with my Maker. I am reading a book that I won’t soon forget… a Donald Miller book. And so I have to give him credit as my inspiration for this post. Miller becomes transparent in this book so that he can relay his story…one that he found boring and meaningless. He began changing things… he initiated the steps of creating a catalyst that sparked a change in his life. He wanted to live an epic story. It’s as simple as that. He wanted his story to be lost in the greater story of Jesus. “And once you live a good story, you get a taste for a kind of meaning in life, and you can’t go back to being normal; you can’t go back to meaningless scenes stitched together by the forgettable thread of wasted time.”

I know that we often read books that “light a fire under us,” and we quickly resolve to change our ways and actions. We do this because we feel God using the words of another author to speak to us….then as rapidly as the words came into our lives, they leave. I say “we” here, and mainly mean “me.” I think though that since January of this year, the Lord has been preparing my heart, growing me, asking me to change. And so, I say that to say, that I feel like the Lord was getting me ready to read this book and allowed me to read it when I did because a wonderful brother in Christ so kindly gave it to me. I am thoroughly encouraged by Miller, a man whom I have never met. I am encouraged to not let fear keep chains on me… I will live abundantly, I will do what the Lord has called me to do, I will be in love with Him. I will live in a story that is greater than my own, a story where it’s all about Jesus. My life is His. And that gives me joy that’s unspeakable.

Life’s too short to be caught in meaninglessness. It’s too short to miss the sunset. It’s too short to be unkind. It’s too short to be boring. It’s too short to be scared.

Every story is different. I am not even beginning to suggest that I am surrounded by boring stories. At all. I have met some incredible people with incredible stories. Some women I’ve met are strong mothers and have chosen love above all else. Their stories are epic. I’ve met brave children in Africa who smile in the midst of turmoil. Their stories are epic. I’ve met a guy who trained for months to run a marathon to raise money for an organization that he cared about. His story is epic. I’ve met a man who makes wheelchairs and made one to push a disabled friend in a marathon. His story is epic. I’ve met a woman who gives herself to loving the homeless of Nashville. Her story is epic. I’ve met a couple who gave up what they were doing in Tennessee to go serve for a month in Haiti after the earthquake. Their stories are epic. I met a woman who lives with constant back pain but gets up everyday, loving and serving her loved ones. Her story is epic. Does your story point to Jesus? Are you laying everything you have and everything you are on the line for Jesus? Will someone someday remember your story as epic…and will not be able to recall your name because you pointed your story towards Jesus?

If you read this…I want to hear your story. Message me. Much, much love to you.

A New Life.

2010-03-26T15:52:00.000-07:00

Almost four months into the new year... and I am in love with it. I am in love with Rabbi Jesus. I sit at the feet of the Rabbi. (A book I am reading... Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus)

Today I rested....well after I got home from classes and obligations... I rested. I soaked the sunshine in that was so generous to come. I walked around outside... I saw the beginnings of blooms...of new grass covering the old, dead. I heard birds chirping songs of spring. And I couldn't remove my mind from the Creator of it all. It is He who gives new life, Jesus.
There is a verse in 2 Corinthians 5...and it says "Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he/she is a new creation, the old is gone. The new has come."
Do you believe that? That the old is gone. The new has come. Today you are new.

There is nothing that both humbles and excites me more. I don't want to be who I was yesterday, I am new. Just as the spring has come... new life is given when we are in Christ. I am not my own anymore... my hope is not in this world, neither is my joy, or my peace. It is in Christ. I am in Christ, a new creation. It is the most beautiful thing that I have ever experienced. Life anew.

Taking it a step further, I refer to an earlier blog post. How can we be a new creation if we don't know who gives life?
Jesus speaks, saying... "I have come that they may have LIFE and have it to the full." The word life there is the Greek word used in Ezekiel 37, where the Ezekiel stands in a valley of dry bones of what was once a vast mighty army. The LORD asks him: "Can these dry bones come alive?" Ezekiel replies, "O Sovereign Lord, You alone know the answer to that." ......The Lord replied, "I will put breath into you and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord." Then Ezekiel watched as the Lord raised the bones and breathed LIFE into them.
The words "life and alive" are used several times here both in the Old and New Testament. Though they are separated by hundreds of years, they are congruent; they bear the same meaning. We even see this same Greek word again in the New Testament in Ephesians 2 where Paul writes that "though we were dead because of our sins, He gave us life...for it is by grace we have been saved." So...

Can God bring that which is dead back to life? A dead marriage, a dead friendship, a dead soul, a dead city, a dead church? Without a doubt. "Then breath came into them, they stood on their feet, a great army." (Ezekiel 37:10) Christ... the giver of Life. And when we are in Christ, we are a new creation. The old is gone, the has come. Life has been breathed into us. We are no longer dead. We are alive. Hallelujah.

Into 2010...

2010-03-17T18:45:00.000-07:00

Wow...its been a while since I've written... and I have 10 other things that I should be doing. When does life ever slow down? I'm resolved to say that it probably won't anytime soon, but I am, at the same time, probably addicted to the busyness. I wonder if I would know what to do with myself if given a week of nothingness (I realize this isn't a word, but that's okay with me).

Enough complaining...I just thought I would pen what I was thinking tonight. Sometimes, at random times, I am lonely....I am surrounded by people all day, but sometimes don't get the chance to really connect with anyone because of busyness. I love all people and often try to find an avenue to connect with anybody I meet, but there are just some people that you really connect with... its just like something clicks when you first meet. These people turn into your best friends or maybe more, in some cases. Or maybe you don't get a chance to know each other, but you know that you'd be best friends if you were given the opportunity. Anyway... I may be crazy... but today I didn't really get a chance to see any of those people and maybe that's why I'm a bit lonely.

And my second thought and perhaps one of more significance...is really just me writing down that I want to fix my eyes on Christ. There is so much in my life that is unsteady, not constant, faltering... I often lack direction and have to beg Christ to be my Vision. I sometimes feel like I should have more things in order...I should have a wedding ring on my finger, I should have a better direction for my future career, I should have the courage to tell someone of my love for them, I should have my summer planned out, I should have, I should have, I should have. I think I begin feeling this way when I take my vision away from Christ. There is a lot to be said for completely looking to Christ and not to your peers for direction in life. Its easy to start looking around and seeing all the things the world gives and wanting them.. security, a certain relationship, a doctoral degree, pride, prestige. I want to look up to Christ. There's a verse that literally brings me to tears every time I read it or even think about it. It is Jesus speaking. He said... "I have come that they may have LIFE and have it to the full." The word life there is the Greek word used in the book of Ezekial, where the Ezekial stands in a valley of dry bones. The LORD asks him: "Can this dry bones come alive?" The word for "life and alive" is congruent. YES. Christ IS the life. I will look at Him; He will be my Vision.

And I'd Ride on the Backs of the Angels Tonight

2010-01-01T09:59:00.000-08:00

Though I have a blog, I rarely use it because I am not so great at expressing my feelings in a public manner, or private for that manner; however, I do have momentary revelations, though they may be few and far between. And since it is the new year, I feel obligated to journal it. Thanks for reading…whatever it may be worth.

I have become incredibly adept at making worry, fear, and irrationality my close friends. This semester started off on a terrible note, a self-induced one no doubt; it slowly progressed into something more beautiful though, thankfully so. I think this, coupled with the fact that anyone who knows me will tell you that I absolutely cannot stand the cold weather, created a bad mindset in me…a hard heart, unwilling to be moved by her Father in Heaven.

So there is the groundwork that explains my current mindset. This is not life. It is not abundant life that Christ came to give. What does it mean to live abundantly? Well…I am still seeking it as well. But I know it is not what I have been doing. The joy, the peace, the hope, the hope… the hope of one day being with my Maker is abundance. The grace given to me every day that is, in every way, undeserved… is abundance. Giving that grace to others is abundance. Giving your life to a cause greater than yourself is abundance. Forgetting yourself, and loving others above all is abundance. And friends, this life is too beautiful, too short, and too precious not to live in abundance.

It is not about living in misery for the things and people that we don’t have…for there are too many things that are out of our control. It has to be about loving amongst whatever and wherever we are. For me, its extremely hard to let the guard down…the guard that seemingly protects me from the pain that comes as a direct result of loving with everything I have. Love IS messy. I have learned that. And it hurts. Like hell sometimes. When you lose someone you love, there no magic salve that heals. But I will die believing that love is the most incredible thing that we can give. It is the most incredible thing that we can experience….because it forces you to forget about yourself. In a world where selfishness pervades every crevice of every heart, Love triumphs. Its our only hope. And we can only love because we were first loved. Loved by Christ. Given grace by Christ. Christ is the hope of love here on this earth.

This is abundance. Its the Kingdom of God here on earth. Though I have done an embarrassing job of it this fall, I will live in it because its also called obedience.

If you are reading this and I haven’t loved you this fall, I am so very sorry. I do love you… with everything I have to give. Lets live in abundance together.

I leave you with these lyrics from an old Newsboys song called ‘Joy’…I cannot seem to delete them from my heart or my head. I think they are going to be an anthem in 2010.

You give me joy that’s unspeakable, and I like it, and I like it yeah
Your love for me is irresistible, I can’t fight it, I can’t fight it yeah
You carried the cross and took my shame, I believe it, I believe it yeah
You shineYour light of amazing grace, I receive it, I receive it

BNA churches Post #1 (See previous post)

2009-08-30T12:35:00.001-07:00

I checked out: FBC Nashville.

I only got a chance to visit on the college night (which was on Tuesdays last semester).
I was extremely impressed by their pastor...who took his Tuesday night to come hang out and speak to the college group. He was honest, and transparent. He affirmed women in the church (which is one of my biggest deals).

The environment was laid back, and friendly. The worship lead by Dave Hunt and SaraBeth. The crowd was comprised of many college-aged kids from Vandy, Libscomb, Trevecca, Belmont, etc.-- a very loving, compassionate group of people, seeking to live Spirit- filled lives.

This is a beautiful church, and one that would be a beautiful one to be a part of.

a journey of community

2009-08-30T12:10:00.000-07:00

I have been on a journey of sorts that has been a rollercoaster ride, to say the least. Last summer, I moved back to Nashville, and transferred to a school here. It was then that I left my home church in Murray, Ky...and came back "home."

I was beyond blessed to be a part of a home church, one that was comprised of imperfect people, but ones who understood what it means to be the body of Christ. To take care of our brothers and sisters in the body. That we are Christ's representation here on earth. We are the Body of Christ.

Back to Nashville, I came. And left that community. Searching for community, for a body of believers who I would have the privilege to join. And it has been a journey. A long one. An eventful one. A beauty-filled one.

And that is what inspired this blog. To all those out there who also search for community, be encouraged today. You are a part of the Body of Christ, and as such, have a global family who loves you. You are never alone. We are bonded by the love and the sacrifice of Christ.

I thought I would blog about some of the different churches that I've visited in Nashville. The list is long, and the blogs will run for a while. But it is my sincere hope, that this may help you, get involved somewhere. Be in community somewhere. No place is perfect. Live in grace. Follow the Spirit's leading. I love you all.

The Stoning of Soraya M.

2009-08-02T16:54:00.000-07:00

A few nights ago, I went with some dear friends to Green Hills Regal Cinemas...which is, no doubt, the independent movie hub of Nashville. I am thankful for such a theater, who is willing to show films that are hard to watch, ones which the viewers do not leave with the go-lucky-Saturday-night-movie mentality. Movies which are done with the motive, not of money, but rather, an expose of sorts. I salute the filmmakers for their bravery.

The Stoning of Soraya M, was just that. A stoning. It took place in Iran, and was completely in Farci, the beautiful Iranian language. In quick summation, Soraya was married to an evil man, who one day, all the sudden, "tired" of her. He had his sights set on another woman. However, in the Arab culture, even he had to jump through some hoops before he could get what he wanted.

After he forced her to take a job doing chores for another man, he then accused her of sleeping with the other man...a crime punishable by death by stoning in this rural Iranian, Islamic culture. She was, of course, innocent. She was a beautiful woman, a strong woman, who loved her children very much. He accused her... and in correlation with the law, she had to prove her innocence, rathar than he prove her guilt. The male elders did not believe her story, when put up against a mans. And thus, sentenced her to die, by perhaps one of the most painful deaths imaginable.

The filmmakers did not spare their viewers any mercy. They showed everything. Every gruesome detail. The men came to get her, they buried her up to her waist. Then they let her father cast the first stone. He missed.

It is at this point, where I started weeping. Why? Because inside, I was BEGGING for some man to come save her. The women were trying to save her. They couldn't. No one would listen. I ached for some man, a foreigner or villiager, to realize the evil that was happening, and step in to save her.

My friends, this is what Jesus did. When a crowd was gathered to STONE a woman caught in adultry, he stepped in front of her. And wrote in the dust. Then said..."you who are without sin, cast the first stone." Her accusers dissapated. They had no foundation on which to stay and carry out that hell.
Then Jesus said one of the most beautiful things in the New Testament to this woman. “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?” “No, Lord,” she said. And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”

He was her Savior. He stepped in for her. This means SO MUCH MORE, now that I've seen The Stoning of Soraya M. Nobody stepped in for her. She was, in every way, brutally murdered. This movie is a true story. God forgive us, for our evil actions. For we do not have the power over life.

May we begin to see what Jesus really did for us. I think if we really knew, if we really knew what it was like to literally be murdered by large slabs of rock being catepulted at our heads over and over again, till we bled out... if we really knew this... perhaps we would not be so relucant to lay everything we are, everything we own, in His hands.

A New Years Eve Thought

2009-07-24T16:49:00.001-07:00

This is an email I wrote on New Years Eve... yes... a couple months old, but the spirit of it has not changed.

__________________

(January 1st, 2009)
The family came over today, nanna, pappaw, uncle john, and aunt fannie. lots of fun. we all sat around the table eating pinto beans, cornbread, and hoppin john... (which nobody knew about it but me, but its a black eyed pea dish) Found out the tradition behind black eyed peas... they were commonly eaten by slaves because they were extremely cheap... so it became a tradition on New Years to eat black eyed peas to represent humility.
anyway... while eating, we reminisced, and laughed about many things that happened this year. it was beautiful being with them. i am so blessed. the sun was setting... a beautiful pink, orange, into purple, and we were laughing.

earlier tonight i was laying in bed... and literally was overcome with emotion... this doesn't happen to me often. but i started crying... how could our God give us so much grace? so much love? that He would allow us the privilege to come into fellowship with Him. I realized that i am i LOVE with God. absolutely. everything in my spirit desires Him. You would think that I realized this often, but I don't. Not often enough.
And it was so incredibly refreshing to cry before my Father. To actually feel something... passion.

How beautiful is the Body of Christ.

2009-06-14T18:39:00.000-07:00

How beautiful.....How beautiful... How beautiful....is the Body of Christ.

I was at a wedding last night, at which, that song was sung. The singer, no doubt, did an incredible job. I couldn't help but be moved and tears unwillingly sprung up. No doubt, I will find a special place for this song at my wedding.

My friends, how beautiful is the Body of Christ. .....Broken for us...that we may be redeemed.

On a separate note: I am posting on this blog my resolve to live a meaningful summer. I am resolved to step out on faith, taking courage, and living a life of conviction. I refuse to let my days pass into meaningless numbers.

the irony of it all....

2009-05-28T20:41:00.000-07:00

Christianity is so incredibly backwards. and thank GOD that it is. it is everything that our society is not. the Lord blesses the meek, the humble, the unglorified. as a society, we do not. we rid ourselves of the lowly, whom we think have no contribution to us nor to society. yet Christ says... they are beautiful. we think we have to be so intelligent in our faith and academia, yet Christ says we must have faith like children. our society says to work our way to the top...to be the best.. to be the first.. and Christ says that the first shall be last and the last shall be first. as a society, we worship ourselves. Christ says NONE before Him. we have given ourselves over to our selfish nature... we have taken lesser road...the easier road.. .and we are the worst for it. It is so incredibly hard to lay down ourselves, to exhaust ourselves for the glory of God. to put our selfishness in the only Hands who can take it away. this is the road less traveled. this is the way to Heaven, the way to Life. this is the Kingdom of Heaven on brought to earth. the way back to Eden. back to fellowship with our Beauty.

beauty in the shadows of tomorrow

2009-05-22T18:15:00.000-07:00

maybe i'm going back to some kind of bohemian philosophy, that love is everything. i think too often we go through today worried about and in high hopes of tomorrow. and then tomorrow comes only to find us vying for the next day. and then before you know it, a year has gone by and you can't remember how the hell you got to another january because you were so enamored with tomorrow...one more day.

and in my thought process here and also just in living, i am realizing that today is meant to be beauty-filled. and that Jesus' sacrifice has given us the ability to make this day so unique... and that is because we have this great capacity to love and when we do chose love and not hate, its beautiful. and then taking that a step further, beauty is found in so many places... specifically, i am partial to sunsets and stars. But people, people are beautiful. And a kind word is beautiful. and the flowers in the spring time are beautiful.

thanks for reading. and for being beautiful.

i wanna love like Johnny and June

2009-05-22T16:45:00.000-07:00

So, although I’m an infant in the blogging world, the art of penning is not foreign to me. I love journaling, love the fresh white paper, ready and waiting to be touched and changed forever; forever bearing the words of my heart. So similarly, I must try to reinvent this wonderful feeling of journaling in this new millennia via the electronic realm.

“I wanna love like Johnny and June”… a touching hit by country diva, Heidi Newfield, and a song that conveniently serves as my catchy ringtone. The phone belts it out whenever a call comes in, using no discretion of where I may happen to be at present.

For me and all hopeless romantics out there, this song is a banner we wave...carrying this overwhelming desire to love… and be loved passionately, without restraint. Though I never knew Johnny and June Carter, I know they were in love… and when June died, Johnny went too…determined not to live long in either life without June. I find myself singing the tune in my head, wondering why that love is so rare, and if I will be lucky enough to experience it.